Sex/Sexuality

Here you have it, another lovely from the garbage bin of old toys gone bad, that somehow find their way mysteriously onto store shelves when responsible, ethical employees have their backs turned!

The “Total Satisfaction” by Mandy Mystery, whoever the fuck she is, a dual stimulator out of Germany. I am assuming from Germany as I read the German which describes it as being able to be used both vaginale und anale for those who love to be stimulated much like you would holding a six pack of beer in the cardboard box.

Speaking of box, the packaging is so faded, dusty and little crunched on the one corner that carries through to back side of the box that reveals an exciting picture, complete with a “magnified” area of her nether regions and a somewhat shitty attempt at German English translation in multiple captions.

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As much as the packaging of this “lovely” item tries to make it look like a worthwhile product with it’s glossy exterior, and quite frankly, beautiful box, the picture smacks you right in the face.

Pipe dream’s Titty Fuck-Her, the masturbator in the shape of tits and a pussy positioned, smack dab, right between them. Can we say somewhat misogynistic with a dash of objectification?

Made of “fanta-flesh” which is actually TPR (Thermo-Plastic-Rubber): billed as the most lifelike material that mimics the look and feel of real human skin, it warms to the touch during use, is waterproof, light weight, super stretchy and soft.

In the box you get a bottle of “moist” lube, cleaner, a bottle revive to bring back to life the fanta flesh, and a bullet with a remote control.

However, I still couldn’t stop laughing at the picture on the box, and couldn’t believe that such a product design actually existed!!! Please don’t tell me a woman came up with this design? So, I let my curiosity get the better of me and had to take a look inside. Curiosity that should’ve killed this cat! LMAO! (more…)

Misogynistic at it’s best! Feature this lovely one that leaves me wondering who the hell comes up with these designs? Ok I get the idea of masturbators, and the crazy array of designs out there, which for the most part I find seriously fun, and humorous, but like I’ve said before many leave me scratching my head in disbelief trying not to formulate an opinion. This one, I have to say, is seriously fucked! I don’t know how else to describe it.

Here is how Sexcitable describes this lovely piece of work; (more…)

The price of your favourite adult therapeutical aid, in layman’s terms, sextoy, can add up pretty damn fast, and break your bank account in the process! Trust me, I know first hand, but like all of you out there, I love a good deal and I’ll go to great lengths to get one. However that doesn’t mean compromising quality for cheap.

There is a reason I appreciate the product knowledge that your local sextoy advocate has when educating you on the good, the bad, and down right ugly in an industry that for the most part is unregulated. It’s because of this fact that companies are producing toys at lightning speed without a governing body to regulate and test the “toys” hence the reason the toys you use are classified as “novelty use” because, believe it or not, they are considered to have no use.

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You’re not going to believe where I found these lovely little gems on my trips round the net, or maybe you will, since I did find a maker of some lovely glass dildos there.

Of all places ETSY!!

Nightfall Miniatures

Yes the do it yourself artisan site for makers of well, all kinds of things!

The artist Jenny Cooper a self styled Goth, not only makes items for the uber Gothic Dollhouse, but the down and dirty sexy toy dungeon. (more…)

Wikipedia foot fetishism defines foot fetishism as;

“a pronounced sexual interest in the feet or footwear. Sigmund Freud considered foot binding as a form of fetishism. For a foot fetishist, points of attraction include the shape and size of the foot and toes (e.g., long toes, short toes, painted toenails, high arches, soles etc.), jewelry (toe rings, anklets, etc.), treatments (such as pedicures or massaging), state of dress (barefoot, sandals, flip flops, high heels, socked feet, etc.), odour, and/or sensory interaction (e.g., smelling the foot, licking, kissing, tickling, biting, sucking toes, etc.)’

If you’re like me, you have an appreciation for pretty much any, and everything, from humanity to the animal kingdom and beyond. Now let me stress, I am talking about appreciation, not sexual attraction in this statement. I am NOT interested in animals outside of homo sapiens for sexual activity, and I am making that clear, and trust me, I do get asked! (more…)

We all have them whether a person cares to admit it or not, and yes I am talking of the sexual kind. However of the non-sexual kind of which we also have, we’re always sharing those thoughts at every opportunity, but the sexual taboo has most folks tight-lipped about their fantasies for fear of being perceived as deviant. Fantasies, that’s what’s sexy this week.

For most of us with thoughts of your sexual partner all dressed up as a cop acting out the latest big arrest of the century on yourself, it’s a sexual turn on. The reasons why we have fantasies are as greatly varied as there are people on the planet. It’s subject matter that has been studied to death and you’ll find that all the research conducted comes to very different conclusions, and as it should, as we are all different. (more…)

Billed as;

Heel, toe, 1-2-3! Kaylani’s Foot Fetish Masturbator is a deliciously kinky toy.

A velveteen pussy in the sole of the petite foot provides an incredibly lifelike sensation, with textured shaft.

Finished with toes with ruby red nails.

Ok WTF!

As a person that revels in the bizarre, there are quite a few things out there I find just stupid and useless, designed, for lack of better terminology, to suck the money out of some of those dumb-assed idiots out there in sex-toy porn land! (more…)

Things get wilder and wilder, and somewhat objectified, but hey, I get it in the world of adult novelties because pretty much anything can be used as a “hole” so why not brand it, and sell it?

Well here you have it, the Twerking Butt from Porn Hubb. It twerks, it warms, it massages, it vibrates, and it activates. It has a multitude of vibration patterns, feels “real,” it’s even programmable with your favourite tablet or mobile phone, and even has 3D glasses for viewing of pre programmed movies for an even more real experience. Be sure to skip on over to the website for a more in-depth look, you’ll be sure to be amazed!

Be forewarned, the manufacturers have recently come out with a warning that it does overheat, and unlike a blowdryer that stays shut off for a period of time while it cools down, the Twerking Butt, is recommended that you turn it off to cool for a period of time. However you can turn it right back on again, because the kill switch, well, THERE IS NO KILL SWITCH! (more…)

Ok so here is a little fun video helping to break down the typical stereotypes of what the jaded or plain old dumb think a typical vagina looks like. The comparison between porn and real world is interesting to say the least and the video does go on to describe a few other things. What it doesn’t talk about when it comes to porn is the back ground prep of douching, waxing, cleaning, lubing, the stop and start, and the fact that a lot of performers and women in the real world are opting for cosmetic procedures to make their pussy more aesthetically pleasing to themselves and others. That’s only the tip of the iceberg. (more…)