As Seen In; HUSH MAGAZINE The Crotch Watch with Video to Prove It! LOL


The Crotch Watch with Video to Prove it!! LOL




You know what I am talking about: the coy glances to the crotches of a man that has caught your eye, quick darting glances as often as a person blinks throughout the day. Its human nature and for those of us that find ourselves in a state of perpetual heat, these are the actions that happen. For most men, low cut waist lines that dip to extremes like the blouses of fashionably dressed women, is just not an option. Their package is their pride and joy, and putting the goods on display through pants that caress the bulges, carrying the meat and potatoes, housing the family jewels, is a learned art that takes time to develop. You have to know what fashion labels to wear with finesse, to wet that appetite of the viewer, a table to be set for a feast soon to be had.


With a multitude of fabric choices the guys are wrapping the goods in the trappings of the day. Faded in the right places, denim, has been a staple since Levis Strauss & Co burst onto the scene in 1853 style of work pants in 1873 to meet the needs of the growing North American industrial age. Denim fits good, is tough, and was never accepted into mainstream fashion as regular wear until the 1950’s when the rebels without causes and the emergence of rock & roll began appealing to the young. Look no further than the album cover for the Rolling Stones, Sticky Fingers, with a working zipper over a bigger-than-belief semi in tight fitting jeans. Makes you want to unzip it, right?

Crotch watching is fun, it’s hot, sexy, and done right, anyone can get away with it. Sunglasses are the obvious accoutrement to concealing those eyes that dart back and forth, up and down stealing glances of packed flesh, even the men of the business district all dressed up in tailored suits are not free from the glare of widening eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. But when dark lenses are not available, there are other alternatives. Let’s consider a few more!

Magazines and newspapers as most know, certainly help with ocular concealment, and depending on the dimensions of that reading material held high, hide a full face and devious eyes. Gently fold down the corner of that paper shield to reveal a full landscape and with the flick of a finger, once again hidden from view. All it takes is a trip to the magazine shop for a look at the naughty newspaper readers pretending to absorb the material in hand. Readers facing the racks of mags with eyeballs in full movement you could mistake them for pool balls bouncing off the sides of the table at the local snooker tournament.

The brim of a hat, cocked to the side, shading the upper part of a face hoping to sneak a peak of the next snack pack walking by. Think of that when buying your next fashion accessory, it’s not just for your head on a bad hair day!

These tips are not just for the casual onlooker. Here’s a look at some of the most crotch-friendly vocations that’ll help you get your look on while making bank.

Going back to the topic of hair, all hairstylists have this firmly in hand, or shall I say view. Seating a client down, in a “semi” reclined position for a thorough scalp massage at the shampoo basin usually gets things stirring! Most men close their eyes for a relaxing scrub in the grip of strong hands, a time when curious stylists and onlookers have free reign to gawk at spread legged crotches generally without fear of getting caught. Think about that the next time you’re off for some trim!

Folks in the service industry know this one all to well, as they are generally used to getting cruised themselves. Servers have mastered the art of the “crotch watch” long ago. Hovering over patrons as the menu is read, staring straight through open arms, hands firmly grasped on the edges of a menu, straight through and down to a crotch seated directly below, Servers with nothing else to do but patiently wait for that menu choice.

Airline attendants have what they call “cabin check”, a systematic observance of the cabin to make sure all is secure. A trip up and down the aisles, tight aisles, looking down, down at raised tables, bags stowed underneath the seat in front or placed neatly in the overhead compartments. With one final check to see if the seatbelt is securely in place over tightly and safely secured bags, in prep, for take-off!

Busted; getting caught while in the transfixed glare of bouncing balls that usually results in a little warmth, flushed colour, and the crack of a smile. Really though, why care? Own it, have fun with it, playful stares and glares never hurt anyone except to help elevate a fragile or bruised ego, never knowing what the end result will be.

A word of advice? Just don’t perv out on it, cause there’s also an art to knowing when to stop. Creepy is creepy, and trust me, you’ll find that out soon enough!

Don’t believe me? Have a look at what I found!

Words by | Velvet Steele

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This article was accomplished by the author in the author’s personal capacity. HUSH Magazine is a place of conversation and platform for independent voices. The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the view of HUSH Magazine.