As Seen In; Sexual Shyness

Working as a sexual health awareness advocate has presented me with some interesting situations. Take for example the shyness exhibited by so many when it comes to sex. Hell, even in my younger years I was no stranger to it.

Remember buying your first “dirty” magazine? The questions about sex you want or wanted to ask? Who do you ask and are you comfortable asking that person, let alone even asking? What about your first venture into an adult store? Or making sure all the curtains are closed and the sound turned down while you trip on over to your favorite porn site for a little self pleasuring?

Take my first magazine purchase, done after I coyly and cautiously made my way to the back of the store, neatly tucked my editions of XXX-rated Couples & Inches between People & Sports Illustrated, and headed to the cash. People rang through fine, but Inches? Noooo! Suddenly a price check was needed and a loud bellowing voice required to ask the second sales associate from across the store what the “big dick magazine for men” actually cost. Really, you had to do that, the price was right there. Let me make this clear I’ve never read Sports illustrated a day in my life!

Simple, humorous examples, yet very traumatic to those who come from strict religious, and cultural upbringings. It doesn’t seem to matter whether I’m lecturing, advocating or slinging dildos, I still am introduced to individuals with a certain degree of shyness when it comes to the topic of sex.

Usually they wait till no one is around and sheepishly come up to me and ask what they need to know. Usually though, in my own subtle way I’m the one breaking the ice and asking them the questions since I know just how difficult it is to ask the first one.

And truly what was it like when you first entered a sex shop? I’ll bet you scoped out the street to see who was on it, and when the coast was clear made a dash for the door. I still have people come into the shop I work at with sunglasses on and head scarves fully covering their faces. They unwrap while in the store, shop, and cover up again when it comes time to leave. I often wonder what it is that is going on in those heads of theirs making them think and act they way do.

For me it is about empowering folks to feel good about sex and sexuality and laugh a little while doing so. I’d rather see it brought to the front pages of the newspaper and

put death and destruction towards the back! That in itself is saying something about how we treat sex and sexuality in our media.

Think about it, we all need it, and we all want, so let’s own it and don’t be shy!
For now I’m off to do a price check in aisle 4 on our “Hot Lil Bitch” with the warm and tight grip.


(Originally published in V-Rag June, 2013.)